The Moon Is Our Anthem

There times that I lay in my bed dreaming and all of a sudden this alarm starts going off in my dream. I am to the point where the process of the alarm is a part of the composition of my brain and I wake up next to my alarm clock about to turn it off. Today followed that routine. I spent my morning on the computer before getting ready for school. I didn't have a morning class today and my mom drove me to school which was really nice because when I don't have morning classes I have to take the bus. My mom and I spent the ride to school debating certain issues and events. I kind of think my mom is ignorant when it comes to these things. She makes sure to put her politics right in the center and many times gives me bullshit responses. We were debating the president of Iran's visit. I don't view it as a bad thing at all and don't see what would be so bad about him going to ground zero. Iran had nothing to do with the attacks and he's a head of state which means he wouldn't blow himself up or carry a terrorist act himself. I find it ironic that our government is so hostile towards Iran. 1) We always talk about democracy in Iraq and what not, yet we denounce Iran which is the only middle eastern democracy (besides Israel). The people of Iran chose him as their leader. The United States should change its goal of "Spreading And Supporting Democracy" to "Spreading And Supporting Democracy (as long as the country is our bitch)". 2) How can you tell a country that they can't have nuclear weapons when you hold the biggest stock of nuclear weapons in the world? I'm not justifying Iran's desire for nuclear weapons, I believe no one should have nuclear weapons. We should disarm ours to set an example. Of course they're going to get nukes when we have them and they feel threatened.

My day at school was short because of a mini-day schedule which was really nice. Algebra II is always the same bullshit. I don't understand the necessity of the class. I'm sure I won't have a career in math and I'm never going to want to figure out functions while grocery shopping. The memoir I did was due today in creative writing. We had to get in groups of four so that our classmates can review of piece of writings and write feedback. Initially I was a little bothered by this and I hoped I wouldn't be stuck in a group of douches. The group I was assigned luckily contained no douche bags. I just wouldn't feel comfortable with one of the average wilson kids reading it because I know they wouldn't "get it" and I didn't want to have to put up with their bullshit. I got mostly positive feedback but my friend Stan told me to cut down the middle which I'll try doing. In history class we had to do a group poster project and present it. My group was assigned "the market revolution" which was the beginning of the abuse on the workers in this country. I had a lot of control over the project and made sure that my views were made through out the poster and presentation. When it was time to present one group did a poster on "The Mexican American War" and talked about how it was good that we took all the terrority we did because it created unity. I immediatly rose my hand and attested that as bullshit. The war was an act of Imperialism on the part of The United States. Our government robbed the rich land from Mexico and kicked off all the Mexicans from their land. If you look at why Mexico is so bad you can trace some of the roots to this. The abuse of the latinos took place there and still takes place today and thats a fucking tragedy. The companies of the First World come into Latin American countries and rob the people of their resources, make them work on their knees, take away their land, destroy their way of life, and corrupt their governments. Then when the people try to escape and make a better life we close the doors. The United States controls their destiny and our goverment has chosen them to remain in chains of oppression. And when a leader of the people such as Hugo Chavez rises up in defense of the people of Latin America, our government does not allow it. But I see a beautiful thing coming up. I believe with Hugo Chavez, Latin America will finally rise up against its oppressor The United States and other First World countries. You see the theory found in The Communist Manifesto of the lower class overthrowing the corperations and the rich has evolved from a regional level to a global level. The small countries of the world will rise up against the big ones and overthrow them. This world revolution is inevitable and so great.

I took my usual journey on the bus home. Once at home, I noticed that my brother smelled like weed and I asked how much he had. Soon enough we were in the backyard smoking. I managed to get pretty high and made my way inside to listen to music which is always very interesting while high. Around 3:30 Kyle called me and we decided on hanging out. Hanging out with Kyle is always really cool, we can make any situation fun and entertaining. We did this thing at the lakewood mall called "People Watching" which basically is just observing the ridiculousness of the majority of people and making comments about it and at times saying stuff to the people. I came back home around 7:30 and did homework. I guess my mom went to disneyland with another family after dropping me off at school. She came home around 9:30 with In-N-Out for my brother and me. My day has progressed into an ending. I recommend listening to the song "Blaise Bailey Finnegan III" by Godspeed You! Black Emperor. They use this sound clip in it that pairs so beautifully with the music. The clip brings up great points and the music can be felt just as strongly. I saw a cute girl today, she won't read this. I'm pretty much looking forward to tomorrow which is friday and always seems like fun. I'm considering buying a dub which looks is always fun as well. I spend times wondering if I am really awake. There are times when I question if life is a processed fixation of my imagination. Everything moves so quickly but at the same time slow. Traffic, the city, our own lives can all be lost in the sun and there'd never be any way to know where we stand. Do you really exist? Do I really exist? Is existence only a subsitute for an object in a dream? Is there a realm where our uncounscious thouths realm and wonder on their own? I really like my dog and the gestures he makes; I'm sure he knows all the answers.

Life Is A Bucket of Crayons, We Are Missing Color

There are mornings in which I find my eyes open already before I wake. I don't remember going to sleep at night. I just remember zoning out and finally zoning back in. Its like if you were watching a movie and the remote was under the couch so the movie kept on fast-forwarding. Actually, I'm not sure if its like that. I entered this day in the life of Martin as I do most days, with an album in the realm of physical reality and a circle of thoughts in the realm of my mind where anything can happen. Sometimes its as if the two mix, but this wasn't one of those times. I decided to listen to the album "How Lonely Sits The City" by The Acsent of Everest who are quickly becoming one of my favorites. The album is amazing and ends with in such a magestic way. It has the ability to share a relationship with anyone's life. I went through my usual morning routines. Shower, Dress, Eat, Brush, Go. I feel like a zombie doing these things, then again I suppose authority wants to kill any aspect that goes against a systematic drone.

School was the usual, pointless. Well actually, theres this kid who is perhaps the dorkiest kid you can ever meet. I don't even know his real name but my friends and I call him "Beard Guy" because of his rapid ability to grow a beard. He had this huge crush on my friend Karla and we always make jokes about him. I sometimes wonder what he does on his weekends and how sad is it that hes so wrapped up on grades and extra-curricular activites so he can get into the elite college that will get him the high-ranking job. But, really whats the point? Who says those titles mean anything at all? You die one day and as you rot in the ground whatever position you held in your lifetime won't fucking matter. There is no "afterlife" so quit dreaming and arousing yourself to the idea. Anyways this kid is really really funny just to look at and wonder about his life situations. I made a picture of him today in the paint program on my computer.
http://photobucket.com/albums/z135/gruffd00d/beardguy.jpg



That was the only thing that caught my interest in school today. I have to work on some project thats due on October 1st for U.S. History, I havn't even started yet. Its about the amendments and I was assigned "Due Process of Law" and we have to make some model representation of an example that the amendment protects or violates the amendment. I'm making a police brutality representation. I think police brutality is really fucked up. In the first place, how the fuck are they "role models" in a society that tells us to go to college and shit. Most cops are nothing more than high school graduates. Second, who the fuck said one human being is higher than another? They put their value above ours. They treat themselves like our fucking masters or guardians. What if I don't agree with a law of yours? Who says I have to obey? The only person in charge of my life is me. I am in control of my morals and what not. I hate the fact that we have these bullshit figures that keep us in line and most of them are abusive. Look at the May Day Immigration beatings. Tell me that wasn't fucked up. Who the fuck attacks women and children? Only a fucking pig. If I ever violate a law of theirs and I'm arrested, they can beat me all they want but why can't I beat them back? I'll kill myself before having to go through their system rules. I am in control of my life not some fucking guy who gets the babes because of his uniform.

My afternoon passed and turned into night. Its funny how the sky is like a scene in a play. The clouds come and go without saying bye. I can't stop thinking about the future. When I ride the bus I like to sit in the back on the right next to the window. I like looking at the people that pass like an exhibit. I try to study them and want to know thier story. I want to know how they were like in the past as a youth. Is that youth dead inside? Youth is the best part of life. Why can't I hold onto it? Why do spiders catch everything in a web? Our lives are contantly passing by like scenes in a play yet many of you just follow the birds that come and go every season. Be like the moon and sun who never leave us. When I'm posting these I'm seated in my room looking out the window every couple of minutes, I can hear the crickets and the wind, and I'm listening to Godspeed You! Black Emperor and everything seems like a puzzle that has been completed. Yet, there are so many puzzles for me to complete. And each puzzle I have completed hasn't showed me the image I am waiting for. I'd really like to get that puzzle completed one of these days.

Virgins

Throughout my crusade on the internet, I have witnessed these trendy pretencious people wasting away their life by processing an image of themselves that isn't true or is just a load of shit. They pose in their pictures with crooked legs, hands at the waist, and a side smile. I believe they are worthless and they know it and are trying to amount to an illusion that truly doesn't exist.

Well, I decided to get a blogspot. I really don't care about the way I am percieved by other people. I don't have to pose for pictures and then photoshop swingly lines on my tits, mainly because its stupid and I don't have tits. I'll use this blog just as a way to reflect on my days, months, years, and life. I might ramble about certain thoughts and philosophies I have and I'll talk about music a lot, which is a really important thing to me. I don't think I'll have many pictures up because I don't even own a camera.

To start off, my name is martin. I'm currently sixteen and reside in Long Beach. I attend Wilson Classsical High School, where I've had more than my fair share off run-ins with the "authority". I really enjoy hanging out with friends. Friends mean a lot to me because they are the few number of people who actually get me and understand me for the most part. I'm really up front about things because I hate hiding how I feel. I speak in a way that makes me come off as a total asshole when you first meet me. I just don't find the need to edit what I say in order to please someone. I enjoy a variety of music. I think I have the largest variety of taste. My absolute favorite bands are Converge, Pg.99, Kayo Dot, Graf Orlock, Orchid, and Godspeed You! Black Emperor. Each one of those bands mean a great deal to me that its just wonderful to sit down and reflect myself through the music. I love a lot of music; genres vary: hardcore, emo(the real deal), post-rock, grindcore, crust, power violence, sludge, doom, post-metal, indie, (some) alternative, post-punk, noise, thrash, (some) black metal, and hip-hop. I tend to stray away from the mainstream, its not because I choose to on purpose. I just can't connect with it and find it not to be pure or of any artistic value. That whole music and attitude seems so shallow and empty to me. Music to me is just more than a beat, the lyrics are of great value and I see music as an attitde, thought, and feeling. Sure I enjoy it but its just a lot more than that. Hopefully you get what I mean. I also like to watch movies, but once again like music I like movies that have depth. My favorite films are Fight Club, The Motorcycle Diaries, American Beauty, American Hardcore, Friday, The Squid And The Whale, and Cb4. My favorite books are The Catcher In The Rye, The Perks of Being A Wallflower, Johnny Got His Gun, and The Motorcycle Diaries. I make a large effort to keep myself informed on events. I don't think school grades determine how intelligent and smart you are. I don't think you keep your self well informed by watching the ten o'clock news every night. The news is made to entertain you and its ran like a show. There are so many things that happen every day that aren't covered in the news. You need to put yourself out there to learn about these things. I am a socialist. I don't believe that we are equal and free with justice to all in these country. I think this country has many problems that can't be resolved in a capitalist system. I also don't believe in a god or anything higher. Therefore, I'm atheist. I hold a stong grip on my socialist and athiest beliefs. When I die I'd like to think that I actually did live a real life.